I’m not sure what to say again. Everything I read tells me to give you all something, that if I’m not communicating something of substance and meaning for you to consume that this won’t be read. I’m also struggling with my heart behind why I need to post weekly to this blog. Am I simply trying to get everyone to read this so maybe we will gain support? I hope not, but sometimes that is how I look at this.

Honestly, I would love for this to be a place of truth, a way to let you all in on what is happening with our life here in San Francisco, and sometimes when we leave the country. I want to tell you all the wins and losses of our life here, the moments I know we are called, and the moments it hurts more than I can say. I think you saw that in my last post. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to be away from home and familiar things, not knowing when we would return. I’ve accepted the dull ache of missing those who know me best. But I know we are here because of what God has done in us, and I promise to share the full story, somehow.

Here is a bit of the beginning…I’ve realized lately how great of a family God blessed me with, for a long time I felt guilty having parents who I can always talk to and a brother who is one of my best friends. I am grateful though, and I know I am reaping benefits of a long legacy of choosing God. I have learned from the pains and struggles my family (mostly my parents) have walked through, and been blessed to have them teach me through their experience. Being 25 now, and really wanting to start a family of my own, I have been thinking of how I would raise my kids, and it scares me to think their choices reflect on how well I teach them to see the world. Looking back at my growing up years I am happy to remember the instruction moments my parents took the time to have with me. They taught me that my choices have consequences, and that those consequences won’t only affect me. My life verse growing up was kind of chosen for me, and I always had to recite it on cue of my disobedience. The verse is: ‘Do everything without grumbling or arguing,’ (Philippians 2:14 NIV) you can imagine why. I was a drama queen, I hated doing what I was told, and I made sure everyone knew it. The beauty was, my parents never gave up, they kept teaching me (through discipline too) why I needed to do things, and how I could be an example to others.

Recently I came across my deemed “life verse” and found a beautiful end that is a part of it, and creates a meaning which today I long to live out. A meaning which we are to be, lights to others, counter to what our flesh and the world tells us. Bright beacons of hope, that maybe anyone can choose differently. I know its possible for us, though difficult at times.

Here is that end:
Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. (Philippians 2:14-16 NIV)

I pray that for all of us, that we can choose to be the light, not the cause of more issues in this world, but the hope. Stars are my favorite thing, I miss seeing them, cities are non-conducive to showing them. But every time I see a star, something inside me swells up, a hope, a desire for something more, it’s my favorite because it reminds me that God is there, loving me every moment.

Dad and Mom, you did not labor in vain. God used you to teach me so much. Thank you.

We have officially arrived in San Francisco.

Before we tell you any more, I have to give a huge praise to God. When we felt God calling us here, it meant getting out of our 9-month lease, at a price of $1,055. We were nervous about the cost, but knew God had a bigger plan. Today we found out that because they rented the apartment back out right away, we don’t have to pay any lease break fees! Ahhh! HUGE blessing and covering by God!

Ok, so to fill you in on our details of arrival. Our apartment is a cute 9′x10′ space with attached bathroom and kitchenette. We are working on getting our apartment together, getting furniture (ie. bed, dresser, etc), looking at painting, and how else to make a small space home. It’s been a challenge to picture making a home in this small space, and yet it’s a space that would regularly go for $900 in this city.

That is the other piece of our arrival, we are still short over 70% of our monthly financial support. It’s challenging, we know God will provide, but it’s scary when you look through human eyes. Even purchasing furniture scares me right now. But, God is bigger than my fears. He knows all the same scary details that I have now learned in the last few days. Things like this is the most expensive city in the US. It just beat out Manhattan. Also, 97% of the housing in the city is already taken, driving the cost of rentals here sky high. Never before have I experienced the need to trust God so deeply. A leap of faith is just that though, an amazing opportunity to trust our loving God in a new, more beautiful way. This city needs Christ more than I need comfort. It is around 800,000 people in this city, and it’s less than 3% Christian. So yes, though it’s a city in America, it is very much a mission field too. God keeps giving us little views of how he is providing for us. I look at the last six years since I met and started dating Josh and I am amazed. God is so faithful, he has walked us through so much, and hopefully soon we can start telling some of our story here (maybe in small pieces). I can’t wait to continue to tell you all of what happens, and how God brings each thing through.

We start work Tuesday! We will be walking through staff training together this week. Then I will probably be moving to only part time DTS staff, and staffing elsewhere in the base, most likely admin work! I like behind the scenes jobs, not something usually chosen or praised. Something where my humanity gets to be challenged, where I’m not hearing anyone but God’s appreciation. I can’t wait to begin the dream of working as a missionary, one that has been buried deep in me since I was a small child. We love you all, and miss each of you so much!

Please continue to pray for monthly financial support to come in. Also, for our students who are coming!